Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a day off.
Why did you leave your last job?
The company relocated and didn’t tell me where.
My boss told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, “Just you wait!”
I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus.
And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job.
I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
What do you call stealing ideas from many?
Research.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency,
I always write, “A very good doctor.”
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
What did the employee do when the boss said to have a good day?
Went home.
When I stand around and do nothing, I’m lazy.
When my boss stands around and does nothing, he gets paid for it!