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- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
- What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
- What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
- What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know y.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
- I used to play piano by ear,
But now I use my hands.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
- Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.
- Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I told my computer I needed a break,
and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
- What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory.
- Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.
- Want to hear a construction joke?
I’m still working on it.
- Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To talk to the other side.
