Top 25 Dating Jokes For Him – April 2025

/ Dating Jokes For Him / By
  1. I’m not saying I’m bad at dating…
    But my love life makes Wi-Fi in the woods look consistent.
  2. I asked my date what she did for a living.
    She said, “I’m into sales.”
    I said, “Me too! I sell myself short in every relationship.”
  3. My flirting style?
    Staring until it gets weird and then running away.
  4. Dating me is like using Internet Explorer.
    It’s slow, outdated, and nobody really wants to—but sometimes there’s no other option.
  5. I told my date I was emotionally available.
    I didn’t mention I meant via text… once a week… after 11 PM.
  6. Online dating is just window shopping.
    Except all the windows lie about their age and height.
  7. Her profile said ‘loves long walks.’
    Turns out it was away from me.
  8. I took her to a five-star restaurant.
    She didn’t even appreciate the effort I put into those Yelp reviews.
  9. She said she liked bad boys.
    So I showed up 30 minutes late and forgot my wallet.
  10. My love language?
    Memes and awkward eye contact.
  11. I told her I’d treat her like a queen.
    So I ignored her advice and made questionable decisions.
  12. Dating me is like Netflix buffering.
    There’s potential, but you’re gonna need patience.
  13. I asked her what she was looking for in a man.
    She said “maturity.”
    So I made fart noises and left.
  14. I once matched with a girl who was into astrology.
    She ghosted me. Apparently Mercury was in retro ghost.
  15. She said she wanted someone spontaneous.
    So I randomly cried during dinner. Nailed it.
  16. My dating life is like a rom-com.
    Except without the romance… or comedy.
  17. I thought I was her type.
    Turns out she meant “blood type.” She’s a nurse.
  18. First dates are like job interviews.
    I lie, they pretend to be interested, and neither of us follow up.
  19. I asked if she wanted to split dessert.
    She said, “I want to split this date.”
  20. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love.
    But if I were Cupid, I’d be using a Nerf gun.
  21. My last date said I reminded her of her ex.
    I said, “Is that good?”
    She said, “He’s in jail.”
  22. I tried a dating coach.
    Turns out I’m uncoachable.
  23. She said she likes a guy with ambition.
    I told her I’m trying to be TikTok famous.
  24. She said she wanted honesty.
    So I told her I still sleep with my baby blanket.
  25. I said, “I’ll treat you like a princess.”
    She said, “Cool. My Uber’s here.”